WE DON'T DO MUCH BUT WE DO IT WELL

We mow your lawn and take your sh*t.

That's it.

No edging, no pruning, no raking. Just cutting grass and taking crap.

Serving Moncton, Dieppe and Riverview.

500+ Years of Experience

(This might be a slight exaggeration)

What We Will do

Here’s What You Can Expect from Your Local Grassholes

We mow your lawn and take your crap. That’s it. Don’t ask us for more.

(Seriously. We’ll ignore you.)

We will cut your grass.

We will take your crap. (2 Dog MAX)

What We WON'T Do

So don't even ask. We're GRASSHOLES - NOT Gardeners.

We WON'T rake your lawn...your grass needs the nutrients.
We WON'T rake your leaves...you need the exercise. Ask your wife.
We WON'T edge your garden beds.
We WON'T prune your trees.
We WON'T trim your hedges.
We WON'T pull your weeds.
We WON'T overcharge you for stuff you don't need and we won't do.

We keep it simple. Grass down, crap gone. You’re welcome.

Book a GRASSHOLE

We work hard. Just not too hard.
We only mow lawns and scoop crap 3 days a week — because frankly, we’ve got better things to do.

We show up when we say we will.
We get the job done fast.
Then we go live our best lives (which, shockingly, isn’t picking up poop all day).
So if you want it done right — and done on the right days — you’d better book early.

We’re not here to be your hero.
We’re here to cut your grass and take your sh*t — on our schedule.

Want $5 off each visit?
Pay in cash.

Here’s the deal:

We keep it old school — cash or credit only. No fancy apps, no awkward links.

Pay us straight, and we’ll keep your lawn (and your wallet) happy.

💳 Credit = Full price

💵 Cash = $5 off every visit

Stop pretending you’ll do it yourself.

Choose your service, click that button, and call it a day.

*Heads up, Grasshole

We charge a $25 first-time clean-up fee to handle the backyard bomb squad duty you’ve been dodging.

(2 DOGS MAX)

Let’s be honest—if you had it cleaned, we wouldn’t be here.

Use the ORANGE buttons to book...just the first time.

We made it simple, just for you.

Just cut my grass, Grasshole!
We mow so you don’t have to.

You're welcome :)

1/4 Acre or Less — $40
1/2 Acre — $60
1 Acre — $90
Over 1 Acre? Call us. We’ll talk Grasshole to Grasshole.

No fluff. No fancy extras. Just a clean cut and zero BS

Just Cut My Grass, Grasshole

Just Scoop the Poop — I’m Over It!

Because stepping in crap is nobody’s favorite chore. (2 DOGS MAX)

1/4 Acre or Less: $25
1/2 Acre: $35
1 Acre: $45
Over 1 Acre? Call us — we’ll talk poop, Grasshole to Grasshole.

We keep it simple, speedy, and stinky-free.

Just Scoop the Poop. I'm Over it.

FIRST TIME USE THIS BUTTON

Just Scoop the Poop. I'm Over it.

Cut the Grass & Take My Crap

Why do two jobs when one Grasshole can handle it all? (2 DOGS MAX)

1/4 Acre or Less: $55
1/2 Acre: $80
1 Acre: $120
Over 1 Acre? Give us a shout — we’ll chat Grasshole.

We mow, we scoop, you chill. Simple. Clean. Done.

Cut the Grass and Take my Crap.

FIRST TIME USE THIS BUTTON

Cut the Grass and Take my Crap.

100% Privacy. We Will Never Spam You!

SPECIAL OFFER

CASH IS KING

(AND CLEANER THAN YOUR BACKYARD)

We’re old school.
We like crisp lawns, clear terms, and cold hard cash.

Pay me in cold, crumpled cash and get $5 OFF each service.

No questions. No fees. No 3-day processing times.

Just a deal between you and your favorite local Grasshole.

If we are taking your crap for the first time, please use the ORANGE button below.

💵 Cash is cold. Cash is king. Cash gets you a discount.
No cheques, no Venmo, no IOUs — just crisp, crumpled greenbacks straight into our pockets.

Just Cut My Grass, Grasshole!

1/4 Acre or Less — $35
1/2 Acre — $55
1 Acre — $85
Over 1 Acre? Call us. We’ll talk.

No fluff. No fancy extras. Just a clean cut and zero BS

Cut My Grass, I'll Pay Cash

Just Scoop the Poop —

I’m Over It! (2 DOGS MAX)

1/4 Acre or Less — $20
1/2 Acre — $30
1 Acre — $40
Over 1 Acre? Call us. Poop talk only.

We keep it simple, speedy, and stinky-free.

Take My Crap I'll Pay Cash

FIRST TIME USE THIS BUTTON

FIRST TIME We Take Your Crap & Cash

Cut the Grass

& Take My Crap

(2 DOGS MAX)

1/4 Acre or Less — $50
1/2 Acre — $75
1 Acre — $115
Over 1 Acre? Call us.

We mow, we scoop, you chill. Simple. Clean. Done.

Cut & Crap. I'll Pay Cash

FIRST TIME USE THIS BUTTON

FIRST TIME We Cut, Crap & Cash

100% Privacy. We Will Never Spam You!

Privacy Policy Terms of Use

Here’s the deal:

*Heads up, Grasshole

We charge a $25 first-time clean-up fee to handle the backyard bomb squad duty you’ve been dodging.

(2 DOGS MAX)

Let’s be honest—if you had it cleaned, we wouldn’t be here.

Use the ORANGE buttons to book...just the first time.

We made it simple, just for you.

Just cut my grass, Grasshole! We mow so you don’t have to.

Just Scoop the Poop — I’m Over It!

Cut the Grass & Take My Crap

Just Cut My Grass, Grasshole!

Just cut my grass, Grasshole!
We mow so you don’t have to.